It’s been an incredible journey

1044207_546426892065275_1472761633_nThis week, I am going to hand over my blog to a very special and one hell of an amazing lady. Recently I received the most beautiful email. I was floored, moved to tears by the honesty, the rawness, the story of triumph, the courage that poured off the page. It’s my clients journey to hell and back.

This week, I am going to hand over my blog to a very special and one hell of an amazing lady. Recently I received the most beautiful email. I was floored, moved to tears by the honesty, the rawness, the story of triumph, the courage that poured off the page. It’s my clients journey to hell and back. I was the guide on her side, she absolutely does all the hard work and boy has it paid off. I asked if I could share her story here (anonymously) so you could all know, right now, it possible to get your happy. To get the life you want.

Commit to the process of getting your health, wellness, losing weight; whatever it is that’s holding you back in life, commit to a new path and do it. No more “try”.

So now I am going to hand you over to this beautiful ladies story, be prepared, you may shed a tear or two of total joy and be throughly up-lifted.

From Mrs Anonymous…..

It’s been an incredible journey, but an internal journey in the most part, I have travelled alone. A journey that more recently has not been visible to others, including those closest to me.

My world was turned upside down, inside out, bank holiday May in 2005. I did not lose anyone, I did not go through any trauma or tragedy of any kind, I was just hit around the head with post natal depression. A very sudden onset that occurred over night and I woke up (nursing a hang over) with an extreme low mood, anxiety and desperate feelings of fear. I am not here to dwell on this experience since this 2 years was your average tough battle of someone dealing with depression…and no, not a 2 year hang over!

After my second child, unfortunately my wellbeing was still vulnerable and I was not fully repaired, hence I had my second blow around the head of PND.

Amongst this turmoil, I guess the piece that perturbed me the most was the ‘relationship OCD’ that dominated my days, weeks and what became years to follow. The PND had morphed into an illness that became very difficult for others and me to understand. A bizarre type of anxiety that creates an out of perspective fear of an incompatibility with your partner. When I consider this illness, it just does not make sense. To develop an obsession with regards to someone you fell in love with, an unhealthy obsession that judges everything they do, say, their behaviour and interprets this all as reasons the relationship is wrong.

At its worst, every day I would feel extreme levels of anxiety about my partner walking in the door from a day at work. The anxiety and fear would feel so intense it impacted my physical wellbeing….light headed, loss of appetite, digestion problems and the silver lining…weight loss! Every weekend was a challenge to get through and going to work was my saviour. Holidays were a disaster and the anxiety would spiral out of control. In fact, enjoying time with my partner and 2 children became impossible. This in itself was incredibly upsetting and frustrating. How can I dread time with my family and be in constant ear shot of others revelling in their own family time and enjoying time at home. What should have been magical years were tough mind battles dominating my downtime.

This became my way of life. Anxiety was a condition I needed to accept…….. until March 2014. It all came to an end, and in weeks!

Life without anxiety and full of gratitude, appreciation, love and best of all a feeling of simple content! ….. Absolute bliss. 

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Anxiety had become a way of life that fuelled anger, irritability, frustration and much unhappiness for years. My children are for the first time experiencing the real me and a new upgraded me. Apologies for the over used song lyric…’what does not kill you makes you stronger’ and I am now a very self aware, empathetic, open minded, highly intuitive and more compassionate friend, mum, partner and colleague.

I cannot pin point the cure but only assume it was a combination of a few things. An amazing coach, a great self help book and a healthy food regime.

These all loosened the links of a heavy chain strung around my neck and in weeks the chain was broken.

For those that rely wholly on external changes to direct their happiness….why not consider a determined journey to focus on some internal shifts.

Contentment is an underestimated state of mind. I am happy not to seek the high life, the thrills, the perfect idealistic daily life. Contentment brings me everything I need and is exhilarating in itself.

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