I’ve been angry that I can’t train at the moment. Like really ANGRY!
Everybody in my personal support crew has been encouraging me on to my yoga mat. To move in a slow, supportive way.
I have been in total resistance. This is not my ‘normal way to move my body’.
I’ve been pissed that at the moment, yoga is the only safe and gentle way I can move my body.
I’ve got on that mat with huge resistance.
I’ve been f*cking angry on that mat.
I didn’t want to be on that mat.
I’ve been furious on that mat, counting down the tortuous seconds till my class ends.
I wanted to be training hard like I used till I got my horrific injury 2 years ago.
The anger on that mat was making feel thoroughly sick every time I did my yoga.
I’ve been a total bitch to my support crew about getting on that fricking mat.
But I stuck with it.
I stuck with it because I know I need to lean in to the care and support of my support crew, I need to hand myself over and be guided. Just like my clients do with me.
And slowly, eventually, this week the resistance has fallen away….
At the end of my session I’ve been able to relax in Savasana, and just lay there. Enjoying the view from my mat. Enjoying my peace. Being grateful for the movement.
As I looked up, I got to really appreciate the beautiful space that my office is, and I get to be here everyday, doing the work I love, with people I adore.
I’m now actually getting my yoga euphoria.
For the first time today I gladly, happily, joyously skipped on to my yoga mat.
And afterwards, my creativity came flooding through, ideas a plenty and a lighter heart. Total appreciation for where my body is at and what it CAN do.