3 ways to stop self-sabotaging and start celebrating success
There are so many barriers that can prevent us from growing our business and reaching our goals. We can often put a mirror up to ourselves and see that barrier staring right back!
Yes, it’s time to talk about self-sabotage. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. And with all the other shiz we have to deal with, we just don’t have time to be standing in our own way! I know it’s an uncomfortable topic. We work so hard on our businesses and careers and give it our all, so we don’t want to be blamed for not being a millionaire already.
There’s no blame being thrown around here. Self-sabotage is never intentional. It’s a self-defence mechanism that switches on unconsciously, most often when experiencing success. Growth is scary and sets off alarm bells in our minds.
We can finally celebrate success when we can switch off those alarm bells.
Self-sabotage is a massive growing pain for people, so let’s take a look at what we can do about it.
Understand the why
The reason behind any negative behavioural pattern will give you insight into how to overcome it. Self-sabotage is unique to every person and situation so it’ll take some reflection to realise what exactly is going on.
Often self-sabotage comes from a lack of self-esteem. You don’t think you can achieve something or are worthy of achieving it so you stop yourself from being able to. This might come from past experiences where you learnt to see yourself as a failure or worthless and now you’re in a cycle of self-sabotaging your dreams.
It can be reinforced by negative self-talk.
The thoughts like:
“Who do you think you are to charge that much”
“Everyone will laugh at you if you even try that”
“Who are you to think you’re capable of that?”
Would you feel comfortable saying what you say about yourself to a friend? If not, you need to change that. (For a more detailed discussion of mindset and the resilience needed in the business world, check out this blog post on ways to build a resilient mind) Unless you learn to believe in yourself, you’ll struggle to overcome self-sabotage.
How does self-sabotage manifest?
Self-sabotage isn’t limited to mindset. It spreads into our behaviour too. We do things that prevent us from seeing the success we want but think we can’t have. Again this is personal to the individual.
Did you know procrastination can be caused by perfectionism? We can want to do something right so bad that we put it off to the last minute, meaning we’re thwarting our chances of doing a good job.
Other habits that self-sabotage can cause include blaming other factors for not being able to achieve something, being passive-aggressive and cutting off healthy communication, constantly putting yourself down and not looking after your needs, not asking for help when you need it and straight-up avoidance.
When you understand the habits caused by self-sabotage for you, it’s easier to understand the impact of the behaviour and it’s easier to spot signs early on. Early intervention means you can get yourself back on track.
Self Sabotage – Turn negative into positive
Self-sabotage thrives in negativity. This only multiplies because self-sabotage causes you to “fail” giving you proof of your inability and unworthiness. To break this vicious cycle, add in positivity yourself.
I’m all about flipping your thinking. Instead of taking negative thoughts at face value, look at the evidence. Sometimes, there is a teeny-tiny shred; mostly, you’ll be able to disapprove the overall negative thought and turn it into a positive one because there’s evidence of the opposite.
Every time your mind tells you “I can’t”, logically analyse it and see that undeniably “You can!”
As you tackle each negative thought and build up a foundation of positivity, you’ll find self-sabotaging habits fade away because you don’t fear taking the steps needed to achieve success.
How to stop self-sabotaging for good!
When you wholeheartedly allow yourself to be successful, life-changing wins happen.
Self-sabotage turns into a celebration. It’s such a joy to see every time.
Tackling self-sabotage is just one of the techniques I share with my clients to help them grow beyond the barriers holding them back. These strategies take them from fed up and floundering to unleashing their potential and greatness.