When you hear the term “emotional intelligence,” it can feel like a bit of a buzzword, something that’s been co-opted and championed as the next big thing.
And while it is incredibly important, it’s not just a concept to be talked about. For me, it’s the bedrock of my work. It’s what I do with my clients and with you every single day, in all the interactions we have.
I don’t tend to shout about emotional intelligence from the rooftops, but I’ve been working with it, and on it, since I first struck out on my own in 2008. It’s a lens through which I see the world and a foundation upon which my work is built.
So, what exactly is emotional intelligence?
It’s our ability to understand, use, and manage our own emotions in a positive way to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
Here’s how the key components of emotional intelligence show up in our work –
- Self-Awareness. This is your ability to understand your own feelings, and to know what you’re good at and what you’re not so good at. This is a core part of my work. When I ask you to “flip the thinking,” it’s a direct link to your self-awareness. It’s about taking a step back and asking, “Why am I reacting this way? What is my part in this situation?” It’s the first step to creating change, because you can’t shift what you’re not aware of.
- Self-Management. This is how you manage your emotions, your thoughts, and your behaviour in different situations. It’s what allows you to respond, rather than simply react. My work on procrastination is rooted in this. We don’t just put off tasks for no reason. It’s often because we’re feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, or fearful. Self-management is about understanding those emotions and giving yourself the tools to move forward despite them.
- Empathy. This is about being able to understand the needs and concerns of other people. When I help you prepare for a hard conversation about accountability with a client, we work on seeing beyond the “hardness.” We think about their perspective, their pressures, and what they might be feeling. True accountability comes not from blame, but from a mutual understanding of what needs to change. This is all about empathy.
- Motivation. This is our inner drive to achieve goals, to show up and do the work even when it’s uncomfortable. This is a huge part of my “Money Can Be Your Love Story” immersion day. We dig into the emotions and beliefs that impact our finances so you can manage them in a healthy way. I see so many people who are brilliant, but paralysed by a lack of motivation. When we work on your internal world, the external results follow.
- Relationship Management. This is about how we build and maintain healthy relationships with others. It’s about how we communicate and influence people. When I talk about communication, I’m talking about emotional inflection. It’s the tone of voice, the body language, and the energy you bring to an interaction. How you say something is often more important than what you say. Relationship management is about having the skill to navigate those complex dynamics.
Bringing it all together
The work I do with my clients and through my Immersion Programmes is designed to take these big ideas and make them practical. Whether it’s in a one-to-one session or in my women’s leadership community, The Boardroom, my goal is to equip you with the tools to handle a world that feels increasingly tricky.
The reality is, our workplaces and our personal lives are more complex than ever before. We are constantly dealing with different personalities, emotions, and pressures. And without a strong foundation in emotional intelligence, it’s easy to get lost.
As a business consultant, coach, and fractional director, I see firsthand the impact that EQ has on the bottom line. It’s what makes the difference between a good team and a great one. It’s what helps you build a loyal client base. And it’s what allows you to show up as a calm, confident leader, even when things get tough.
So while EQ might be the buzzword of the moment, for me, it’s always been the work.
RESOURCES AND NEXT STEPS
If you’re looking for more support and guidance, here are some valuable resources:
- Book a conversation to see how we can help you with your next steps HERE.
- Use our Flip The Thinking Tool Kit. Connect with your people deeper by sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Use our Flip The Thinking Tool kit HERE and share it with people around you. See how it helps you enrich the connection and conversation.
- Follow along on LinkedIn HERE
- Find out more about our women’s leadership programme HERE